Better

Sorry about the last post just a usual problem I'm conflicted with.I let my emotions do the talking instead of thinking them out. I am a fun person but struggle with communicating my problems. I think yesterdays mishap was what usually happens when I am upset about something. I tend to pick fights or I should say little arguments for no real reason at all. Weird huh? I know but I'm sorry and promise I will do my best to quit this routine. We talked it out took less than 15 minutes for something that blew up within minutes but I'm feeling better now :D

Thanks

Speaking out loud

       Today began like most days, bright and early morning waking up to lovely Pandora music player....Happy to see a special someone in the early morning and eager to help his parent's move into their new house, I woke up early enough to prepare for a busy day. The day started off slowly as I tried to find things to help with but not much was needed since there were other helpers. I quickly engaged myself in packing up his clothing as well as helping his mother do the same. Things were going well, it wasn't until we arrived at the other house that I noticed his mood had changed. I guess it was from all of the moving we were doing but it wasn't like he was the only one moving things around. At times I felt like I were doing most of the work which didn't bother me until I noticed him sitting down more often than anyone else. Don't get me wrong we all worked for hours without really eating much, yet he played he role a bit more. Was I in the wrong for calling him out on it? I packed the whole pantry alone and lifted many boxes to get things organized better than they were. I guess I see things different than others because over all it wasn't my home I was organizing it was his.
     Okay maybe I got a little to emotionally exhausted but are we on the same page? Everyone put in an effort in unpacking and re-organizing certain areas of the huge household why was it that he was the only one slowing his pace? I understand not eating can have an affect on how your body performs...lifting etc but I think he overreacted just a tad bit. I tried relaxing about the whole situation but I mean I guess I felt he could have done a lot more than he did. Moving is a huge process which requires full effort from everyone, but how would you feel if you were tired from moving boxes, organizing tons of pantry items (food...drinks..utensils) and kitchen items and continuing to work hard while one person relaxes to his own tempo of things? What made it worse was the fact that I mention how I felt about the situation that person gets upset and distances them self from me. I thought I was the one who had an excuse for my emotions....??? I wonder if I expect too much from him? Oh well only time will tell.

Peace

The stress I've put my body under has taken its toll. It seems as though I  have become easily baffled... exhausted... .. morosed.. these words I could use to describe myself at this very moment and what seems to be a reoccurring burden for me. I can no longer go to a place where my mind is at ease. I feel the need to tune everyone out of my life at times but it is only a momentary escape from the world. So I must say , I am truly sorry if I affect you ahead of time. I don't mean to put others in an awkward position. I don't know how else to deal with this problem but I find it easier to just lay in bed all day while listening to music.

Venting just to vent.... :/