Reunited....

Today was amazing...... Reunited with my first LOVE :D I still have the touch, drive as i did back in the day. I wonder how much different my life would have been with him? The comfortable vibe he sent off had me blushing inside. I could not resist his temptation. Once I began this game, it was no turning back. I had to have five more. Sore and tired I threw in the towel and ended my night with a smile. I hope i get a chance to continue this love, and passion that i have for the sweet sensational game of basketball. :D

Thankful

I am very thankful for what I have. Had a bad day at school, but very much thankful for waking up to see another day. Met new friends, practice went well, the school year is almost over and I am thankful for what I have. This year has been a rocky one yet my loving boyfriend has stood beside me the whole time. I am very thankful. Things don’t always go the way I’d expect them to but I am very thankful for the challenges that occur daily. Bills, grades, and staying healthy, I am thankful for what I have. My own room, clothes, money, and food I am thankful for. Loving friends, roommate, and siblings I am thankful for what I have. It seems to me, this thankfulness I have is what keeps me succeeding my goals. This thankfulness, I have I am thankful for having….. Guiding me through rough, rocky, and unstable roads for I am thankful for having explored them.

Work it Out

Annoyance is what you cause. From this lack of communication, I withhold my feelings from you. Unintentionally frustrating me, I am left trying to build courage from nothing. “I could really use a wish right now”. In hope that one day I will converse these feelings with you. Fearful of your response, I push myself further away. This distance becoming too comfortable, I am afraid it might become permanent. Support is what you’ve promised me but my uncertainty has left me terrified. Continuously, expecting myself to approach this concern I feel as if my strength is weakened. As we slowly drift away I am reminded how we fell-out the first time, miscommunication. A previous mistake easily fixed but returned to test our relationship. Can you see it? Our communication has become weakened. Haven’t you noticed? No longer on the same page, we begin slowly drifting into each other’s space. “I could really use a wish right now”. I look forward to talking with you soon.

Looking Forward

From time-to-time I find myself lost within two worlds. In the first, I am caught making decisions that are to complex in my making. In the next, I am caught trying to please everyone. At an early age I have always been a great decision maker, but over the years I have found that my decisions have lacked trust within myself. I have developed an over-thinking approach to things. I am constantly thinking about the effects rather than the positive aspects within them. My lack of faith in my decision making has set plenty of burdens on my shoulder. Kind-hearted and willing to please those who I love I have created a weight that is too heavy for me to lift. I am steadily kicking myself into the ground when my expectations are not met. This approach to things has affected my mind, body, and spirit. I am not the person I used to be. What happened to the woman who instead of bashing herself down, work harder to make sure things go accordingly? Trying to satisfy those around me I am faced with unusual emotions, which have caused me to plaster my feelings and thoughts. Sometime down the road I am unleashing these feelings which have created a burden for me.

While I cannot change the past I can work toward strengthening my future. I must overcome this over-thinking process and focus on the present. These words are very familiar to me. I have whispered the saying over-and-over to myself, but have continuously found no sense of comfort from them. Maybe the source is not my over-thinking but in fact my expectations I have placed upon myself? Placing success as a top priority? “I don’t know what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone” Maybe my next move should be to challenge myself mentally, and physically in which I think the opposite?