What does it mean?

When words cannot express just how deeply one feel about life? I cannot explain how I feel about my life right now. I am soo caught up in my thoughts that it has become a problem. Ashley vs. Ashley. A mere image of myself slowly killing my psyche. Which would probably explain the frequent hair-loss, headaches, and the sickness I've had for some time now. As I smile in the face of many asking how I am doing, I find it irrelevant to express just how distressed I am. Am I afraid of something lesser than anything worth stressing over? Will I ever overcome this complication that seems to obstruct my progression with life? Sometimes I feel out of place with myself. Like I am losing my mind and the only way to fix it is to let go of everything. It is possible that I am taking on too much at once. I have never had to rely on someone in the past and don't plan on it. At times I feel like crying, sometimes I actually do. Not that I can help it, I just do. An emotional wreck one might suggest, but maybe there is something wrong with me mentally? I noticed that I have become more and more absent minded, and repetitive. I forget conversations that I've had with people. I am jittery at times, and sometimes I get very emotional when thinking about simple things. Have I put too much stress on my body that I have become unstable? Soo many questions I have yet no answers. Telling me is one thing but showing me is another.

I AM LOST ......